Dating An Older Man? Here Are 21 Dos And Don’ts

To engage with an older guy is to peek inside a different point-of-view on life. As much of our generation is delaying activities like marriage and procreating, we are, in effect, also prolonging its adolescence. Without those weightier responsibilities, Millennial boys (or, for the most part, the ones I’ve encountered) are living this suspended fratboy mentality.

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If you’re falling in love with an older man, don’t let his life’s baggage overwhelm or deter you from taking things forward. Yes, it can be intimidating to think that you may become a step-parent to his children, who may not be much older than you. Or you’ll dread thinking about how his family may react to the relationship.

If you want to dig a little deeper into the consequences of dating an older man or the possible red flags when dating an older man, you are in the right place at the right time. Having a certain set of rules to guide you can make the journey easier for both partners. Women & dating should be complimentary to your life not the focus.

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That is like the 3rd question out of a mother’s mouth as soon as she finds out her daughter is dating someone new. Being vague isn’t going to work, about anything. Mothers demand details, and when you don’t offer them up, they know something is wrong. My college roommate was 20 when she started dating the then-40 year-old guy who has been her husband for the last 9 years.

There is nothing wrong with an older woman feeling attraction towards a man who is younger than her. This is common as young guys are in peak physical condition, and women instinctively look for that in a mate. As long as the relationship is between two consenting blendr.com adults, there is no real problem with it. The only age gap relationship that is really an issue is if one of the participants is under the legal age. They could have kids or an ex-wife, and you need to be able to decide if you can accept that.

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Men have long been silent and stoic about their inner lives, but there’s every reason for them to open up emotionally—and their partners are helping. “Children, grandchildren, work, groups, etc., so finding time to be dating or be with someone who is more mature can be a bit difficult to schedule. You will figure it out if you both are willing to make the time,” says Rappaport. Men, in general, are not good about expressing their feelings and even more so for men who are older. “Few men in the over 60 generation are practiced in talking about their feelings.

Along these lines, ancestrally, women benefited by seeking men who have the status and resources to support their child-rearing and the willingness to do so. Making time to date can be hard in your 30s, and you’ll probably have to put certain things on the back burner to make it a priority. Conversely, you may have to put dating aside at times to reach other goals. “The only thing that matters is that one listens to the deepest truth of their heart and then prioritizes that truth with consistent action,” says Gray. Good communication is crucial to any relationship. When you’re dating in your 30s, you and your significant other should be able to talk to each other openly and honestly.

Crucial Tips for Dating in Your 30s

“That ten-year gap would create a huge difference for the younger partner. In their 20s, they are still exploring certain things for the first time. So in ten years, they will have the opportunity and experience to understand themselves better.

Don’t give up fundamental things that make you who you are in order to find a significant other or accommodate a new partner. “Balancing and prioritizing our various values is a never-ending dance in life,” says Gray. Being vulnerable can improve your relationship with your partner, heighten your self-worth, teach you to be less dependent on the opinions of others, and increase your inner sense of security.

Speaking as someone with experience, the biggest obstacle you need to prepare for is the different relationship needs an older person and a younger person have. My boyfriend and I have had to find a lot of middle ground; he was looking to settle down and marry, I was looking to see the world and go to college. Make sure he can be patient while you walk the path he’s already had the chance to walk, but be understanding and reassuring.

If age really doesn’t matter to you, you won’t make an issue of it. It will take time for his friends and family to accept you. Be gracious when you’re with them, and do your best to engage them in conversations to show that you’re interested in developing a relationship with them. Many people feel that women who date significantly older men are looking for a substitute for their father.

I think the best way to go about this is to calmly sit down and have a discussion about it. If they begin screaming and yelling , try not to enter in a screaming match with them. Sometimes an older guy dates a younger girl because she will put up with stuff that an older, more experienced woman would not. An ex of mine (we’re both in our early 30’s) just married an 18 year old. All I could think was – no woman in her 30’s would put up with him not holding a steady job, when he is perfectly capable of doing so, and not providing a stable home for his kids. His life may actually look pretty glamorous to an 18 year old.

She may be living at home which could be why the introduction is being rushed. If that is the case and her friends all meet this guy the word will get around to her parents that she is dating a 30 year old man regardless if she wants it to or not. Everyone is just cautioning not to make huge commitments or life-changing decisions it will be expensive or time consuming to get out of.

Our friends and family play a role in our relationship success, whether we wish them to, or not. Age-gap relationships are often stigmatized, but if friends and family approve, the relationship becomes easier to sustain. “When it comes to dating in your 30s, there’s a bit more acceptable range in terms of age when you’re selecting your potential partner,” says Gray. “Ultimately, it all comes down to maturity levels and alignment of life visions.” One of the advantages of dating a divorcee is that they’ve probably learned a lot from their former marriage that they can apply to a new relationship. “We are all eternally works in progress, and your partner’s former spouse helped carve them into their current iteration that you are now benefiting from being close to,” Gray continues.